Top Naughty and Romantic Dirty Riddles

Top Naughty and Romantic Dirty Riddles

1. When you blow me I get enlarged, and the tighter you wrap your lips around me the quicker I enlarge. What am I?

A balloon.

2. What’s a four-letter word that ends in “k” and means the same as intercourse?


3. I come in a lot of different sizes. Sometimes, I drip a bit. If you blow me up, it feels really good. What am I?

Your nose.

4. You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. What am I?

A tent.

5. All throughout the day I let anyone who wants to put down on me. I let them come in and out as much as they want. What am I?

An elevator.

 6 . What’s a 5 letter word that starts with a “P” and women absolutely love to get their hands on it?


7 . What four-letter word begins with “f” and ends with “k,” and if you can’t get it, just use your hands?

A fork.

8 . I’m spread out before being eaten. Your tongue gets me off. Sometimes people lick my nuts. What am I?

Peanut butter.

9 . What three-letter word starts with an “s,” ends with an “x,” and has a vowel in the middle?


10 . I start with a “p” and end with an “o-r-n.” I’m a major player in the film industry. What am I?


11. When I go in, I can cause some pain. I’ll fill your holes when you ask me to. I also ask that you spit and not swallow. What am I?

Your dentist.

12. I assist with erections. Sometimes, giant balls hang from me. I’m known as a big swinger. What am I?

A crane.

Romantic Dirty Riddles

1. What’s beautiful and natural, but gets prickly if it isn’t trimmed regularly?

The lawn.

2.  My load is sometimes soft, sometimes stiff, I am often warm, and I am sometimes long and sometimes short. What am I?


3. What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?

A seatbelt.

4. What does a dog do that a man steps into?


5. Name a word that starts with “f” and ends with “u-c-k”?


6. My business is brief. I’m a cunning linguist. I plead and pleaded for it regularly. What am I?

A lawyer.

7. I’m great for protection. You use your fingers to get me off. What am I?


8. I’m the highlight of many dates. I’m especially responsive when you put your fingers deep inside me. What am I?

A bowling ball.

9. What’s made of rubber, handed out at some schools, and exists to prevent mistakes?


10. It’s a fun thing to do and you devote a significant amount of energy to thinking about it, but you hate knowing that your parents are doing it. What is it?


11. What’s white, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow?


Naughty Dirty Riddles

1. Who’s the most popular guy in the nudist colony?

The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand, plus a dozen donuts.

2. Who’s the most popular girl in the nudist colony?

The one who can eat the last donut!

3. What’s most useful when it’s long and challenging?

An education.

4. What do you wrap your mouth around every morning and night that leaves you feeling refreshed?


5. Many people like these to be as long as possible, but short ones can be effective. It’s definitely possible for them to be too long. What are they?


6. What has a head and a shaft, is long and hard, and has a head and shaft?

A cane

7. What does a woman have two of that a cow has four of?


8. Sometimes a finger gets inside me. You fiddle with me when you’re bored. The best man always puts me first. What am I?

Your wedding band.

9. How do you make five pounds of fat look healthy?

Put a naple on it.

10. What is soft and wet on the inside while rigid and hairy on the outside? The word begins with “c,” ends with “t,” and there’s a “u” and an “n” between them.

A coconut.

11. What’s long and stiff when it’s young and soft and small when it’s old?

A candle.

12. I am always rough when dry but smooth and soft when wet. What am I?


Best Dirty Riddles

1. You play with it at night and it vibrates. What is it?

A cell phone.

2. What is the difference between a woman’s G-spot and a quarter?

Men actually have a chance of finding a quarter when they search for it.

3. Spreading this is truly enjoyable. What is it?


4. You can’t taste it unless you undress it. What is it?

A banana.

13. I can be dirty, I can be clean, I can be delicate, I can be rough. My own kind sometimes shakes or smacks me. What am I?


14. Chewing gum. What’s at least six inches long, fits in your mouth, and is more fun when it vibrates?

An electric toothbrush.

Dirty Riddles for Your Crush

1. You’ll find me on a peak. I am sometimes small and sometimes tall, sometimes pointy. What am I?

An explorer’s flag

2. What does a bride get on her wedding day that’s long and sometimes challenging?

A new last name.

3. What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

The taste.

4. What is in dry and stiff but comes out wet and soft?


5. What do you insert into a small hole and twist all the way around?

A Q-tip.

6. What’s the speed limit for sexual?

It’s 68, but at 69 you have to turn around.

7. What is six inches long, two inches wide, and everyone is crazy over it?

A $100 bill.

8. What is six inches long, sweet on the lips, and comes down better with butter?

Corn on the cob.

9. What is super hard and fits into a tiny hole?

A key.

10. What’s long and hard and has the word ‘cum’ in it?

A cucumber.

11. I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. What am I?

An arrow, of course!

12. What is the difference between “ooh” and “aaaaah”?

About three inches.

13. What does every woman have that starts with a “V” that she can use to get what she wants?

Her voice.

14. What do men keep in their pants that their partners sometimes blow?


15. What does a man have in his trousers that a lady doesn’t want on her face?


16. What’s in a man’s pants that you can’t find in a girl’s pants?


Funny Dirty Riddles

1. Why is a man’s voice louder than a woman’s?

Men have an antenna.

2. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s is big. Donald Trump’s is small. And Madonna doesn’t have one. What is it?

A last name.

3. Some people prefer being on top, others prefer being on the bottom, and it always involves a bed. What is it?

A bunk bed.

4. You get a lot of it if you’re important and successful; you get less when you’re just starting out. You sometimes do it by yourself if you need to, but it’s a lot better when it’s with other people. What is it?


5. I grew up in a bed, first white then red, and the plumper I get, the better women like me. What am I?

A strawberry.

6. Over 1,000 people turned down on me. I wasn’t a maid for long. Something really big and hard ripped me open. What am I?

The Titanic.

7. What holds your buns firmly and makes them look round and pretty?

A hair tie.

8. What gets wet when things get steamy?


9. I am an expensive tail with a large “pair.” What am I?

A lobster.

10. What does a man have that begins with “P” and gets bigger if it’s properly stimulated?

The pupil of his eye.

Dirty Minded Riddles for Adults

1. I am long, hard, and I point upwards. I have to be slippery for you to go down on me. After you put your hands on me, you go up and down on me. What am I?


2. If you see me in bed, you knock me off. The taller I am, the louder you scream. Seeing what’s between my hairy legs will make your skin crawl. What am I?

A spider.

3. What’s beautiful and natural but gets long and prickly if it isn’t trimmed regularly?


4. If I miss, I hit your bush. It’s my job to stuff your box. When I come, it’s news. What am I?

A newspaper delivery person.

5. What’s the best part of your body to put into a pie?

Your teeth.

6. I am dirty, people like to put their wood in me, but only Santa comes down on me. What am I?

It’s rare.

7. What’s the difference between amazing sex and this joke?

You actually get the joke.


What does a man have that gets bigger?

Testosterone is the male hormone which is produced in the man s testicles. During puberty, when the production of the hormone increases, young men experience growth in the size of the testicles. But even at a later phase, when the production of testosterone spikes, the testicles can grow.

What flower has two lips?

Tulips (Two Lips) For Lovers Flower Bouquet.

Are guys bigger than girls?

Men, on average, are about 15 percent to 20 percent larger than women. Yet compared with other mammals, that margin is slim. New research suggests it was similarities among the males and females of our early ancestors not differences that helped early humans evolve to become the dominant species that we are.

Do males tend to be bigger than females?

There are large variations of size among humans but in all populations, men are larger on average than women. For most biologists this fact can be easily explained by the same processes that explain the size dimorphism in large mammals in general and in apes in particular.

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