While we don’t mean to brag, we can’t possibly be the only ones who enjoy fart-jokes good toilet humor. It doesn’t matter how old you are, a fart will always be funny, and a shart will always be tragically hilarious. Everyone passes wind, from the smallest baby to the oldest grandparent. So with that in mind, we came up with the best fart jokes we could find.
A good fart joke lasts longer than a stinky fart. As an adult, you can still crack a smile at the different smells and sounds that come out of the human body. It doesn’t matter if you don’t like fart jokes, your kids will.
1. Have you heard the story about the blind and heartbroken skunk?
She fell in love with a fart.
Universal Pictures
2. It’s probably not a good idea to fart in an elevator.
It’s wrong on so many levels.
3. Why did the fart miss graduation?
It got expelled.
4. When someone farts alone at home, what do you call them?
A private tutor.
5. How would you describe a fart from a biological perspective?
It is a kiss from the intestines.
6. On a piece of poop, two flies are sitting.
One fly farts and the other cries, “Hey!” I’m trying to eat here!”
7. Why won’t the skeleton fart in public?
He doesn’t have the guts.
8. What is invisible and smells like worms?
A bird’s fart.
9. What’s the ideal fart weight?
Zero pounds. You’re in trouble if it’s anything more.
10. Why did the man stop telling fart jokes?
He was told that his jokes stink.
20th Century Fox Television
11. When Bill Gates farted in the Apple store, why did everyone notice?
Because they had no windows.
12. Farts are like children.
If it’s yours, you don’t mind it, but if it’s someone else’s, you can’t stand it.
13. Do you know what’s scary?
It’s your first fart after diarrhea.
14. The company I worked for fired me after I delivered flatulence awareness leaflets.
Unfortunately, I let one rip.
15. Is it really necessary to watch out for ninjas’ farts?
They’re silent — but deadly.
16. What’s invisible and smells like carrots?
A bunny fart!
17. How does a bean and onion casserole turn out?
Tears of gas.
18. What do you call a ghost fart?
A spirit bomb.
19. I didn’t fart…
It blew a kiss at you because it likes you so much.
20. What do you get when an aristocrat farts?
A noble gas.
21. I just called the Incontinence Hotline.
The woman said, “Can you hold me, please?”
22. Yesterday, my coworker opened the window after I farted at work.
We’re flight attendants, so it must have been bad.
23. He said he wanted to heat things up in bed.
So I spit under the sheets.
24. After we got married, I did not fart in front of my partner.
Her family wasn’t impressed.
25. An old married couple is at a concert one Friday night when the woman says, “I just let out a really long, silent fart.”. What should I do?”
The husband told her, “Replace the hearing aid battery.”
26. A fart is like success.
When it’s not yours, it bothers you.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Her fart didn’t want the other chickens to notice.
In its “thank you” note to the fart, what did the menstrual pad write?
You are the wind beneath my wings.
27. Farting in the church is bad, right?
It is your responsibility to sit in your own pew.
28. What are gassy surfers afraid of the most?
A heart attack.
29. Why is love like a fart?
It’s probably shit if you have to force it.
30. Laugh and the world laughs with you.
Fart and the world laughs.
31. Why do farts smell?
Deaf people can also enjoy them.
32. What do you call a dinosaur fart?
A blast from the past!
33. Why does everyone always think Piglet farted?
He plays with Pooh!
34. I don’t fart. I whisper in my pants!
When a clown farts, does it smell funny?
35. I coughed in public to hide my farts, but now I fart in public to hide my coughs.
36. His teacher threw Frank out of the classroom after he farted in class.
smallest baby.
As he sat outside the classroom, he couldn’t stop laughing. When the principal walks by and asks him, “Frank, why are you sitting outside your classroom laughing? I farted in class, and the teacher threw me out.” The principal asks him again, “Well then, why are you laughing?” Frank says, “Those idiots are there in the class smelling my fart while I’m outside in the fresh air.”
37. I just spit on my wallet.
Now I have gas money.
38. What do you call a cow’s fart?
Dairy air.
39. How can you tell when a moth farts?
It flew straight.
40. It’s true that some people think fart jokes are immature, but I assure you there’s methane behind them.
oldest grandparent
41. When both pharaohs farted, what did one say to the other?
“We have a lot in common.”
42. Every time my dad farted when I was a kid, he denied it.
Years later, I realized he had gaslighted me.
43. When is a fart joke acceptable?
When it doesn’t stink!
44. Hookers don’t fart.
They let out pro-toots.
45. What’s the difference between a pun and a fart?
Puns are shifts in wit.
46.How does NASA pass gas?
They fart using their ass-steroids.
47. Why was there a fart on Kickstarter?
It just needed some gas.
48. How does a duck fart?
With his ass-quack.
49. The only thing I came for was to poop, but instead, I farted.
Then one day I took a chance, farted, and pooped on my pants.
50. When you’re a teacher, you get to fart freely and then watch the drama unfold as the kids try to blame each other for everything.
What did the poo say to the fart? You blow me away!
FAQs
Foist. Definition – a silent fart.
Humans pass gas between 13 and 21 times a day. If hydrogen and methane are present in farts, they can be flammable. According to an NBC News report, farts travel about 10 feet per second or approximately 6.8 miles per hour.
The word fart has been incorporated into the colloquial and technical speech of occupations, including computing. It may be considered vulgar or offensive in formal situations.
Gas is air passing through the rectum in the intestine. Belching is the movement of air from the digestive tract through the mouth. Gas is also called flatulence or flatulence.
