Best 125+ Funny Roasts for Peoples

funny roasts It all began back in 1974 with the Dean Martin Celebrity funny roasts. Despite being on the air for ten years, it remains one of the most popular television shows of all time. Over 6.4 million viewers tuned in for the Comedy Central funny roasts original debut 29 years later. The networks haven’t made it clear enough, but funny roasts are universally loved. It’s always advisable to use them in conversations with people you know, rather than in unlucky encounters with strangers. funny roasts and Good comebacks give you clout. Additionally, it lends itself to a fun, friendly exchange. Moreover, funny roasts are a great way to end a conversation you don’t feel like continuing. Check out the list below if you need some help getting started.

Best Roasted for People

Funny Roasts for Haters

1. What if I throw a stick at you? Do you think you’ll leave if I do?

2. On a rainbow cupcake, you’re a gray sprinkle.

3. You wouldn’t be able to blow your hat off with enough dynamite.

4. Unsalted pretzels are more disappointing than you.

5. Your bright appearance was due to the fact that light travels faster than sound.

6. Unfortunately, we have been married for 10 years after being happily married for one month.

7. It’s so annoying that your kid tears up his Happy Meal.

8. Your teeth are so gapped that your tongue appears to be imprisoned.

9. Your secrets are always safe with me. No matter how often you tell me about them, I never pay attention to them.

10. It will always be a memorable moment for me when we met for the first time. But I’ll keep trying.

11. I forgot the world revolves around you. My apologies! How silly of me.

12. My only reason for taking you everywhere is so I don’t have to say goodbye to you.

13. Hold on still. It’s hard for me to picture you with a personality.

14. Your kid must have inherited your brain! I still have mine.

15. Your face makes onions cry.

16. In the event of an explosion of the TV, my husband would never get hurt during an activity.

17. You look so pretty. Not gross today.

18. It’s impossible to underestimate you.

Funny Roast for Brother

1. My apologies, did I interrupt you in the middle of your sentence?
2. Having such an ugly personality is just not appropriate for someone so pretty.
3. Perhaps you were the inspiration for the invention of the middle finger.
4. Onions cry when they see your face.
5. Have a nice day elsewhere.
6. You know we’re just tolerating you, right?
7. Do you think you’re this stupid because you were born this way or did you learn it?
8. You’re really good at understanding everything that’s being said about you.
9. There is no point in waiting for you beyond the ‘queue’.
10. In this world, the real heroes are those who live with you.
11. You are breathing oxygen produced by a tree somewhere out there. What a shame.
12. Sometimes it’s okay to act stupid, but you’re abusing your privilege by doing it all the time.
13. Two-faced people should at least have one pretty face.
14. I hadn’t liked you since I was a child.
15. The only difference between me and you is that I am smarter.
16. As a thank you, I would give you a dollar every time you shut up.
17. It was not my intention to offend you. But I’ll consider it a bonus.
18. I don’t want it to rain on your parade. I want to summon a typhoon.
19. By leaving the room, you can bring so much happiness.
20. The worst things that have been said about me have been said by better men.
21. The only thing I was looking for was mute, not your buttons.
22. I forgot the world revolves around you. My apologies! How silly of me.
23. A diaper rash on a baby would be more important to me than lunch with you.
24. It would be easy for me to smack you, but I am against cruelty to animals.
25. My trophies were all given out quite some time ago, but here’s one for participation.
26. Balance is everything… when you start talking, I stop listening.
27. Where is your off button?
28. There is no doubt that you dislike me, and that indicates that your taste needs to be improved.
29. My understanding of astronomy is that the Earth revolves around the sun… not you.
30. You’ve already got a nasty look on your face.
31. A letter of apology should be rewritten on your birth certificate
32. My last encounter with you wasn’t a change. You really should.
33. I prefer animals to humans because of your bad personality.
34. Did you hear that? My lack of care can be heard in this sound.
35. Even though I’m fully protected, I won’t be hanging out with you.
36. It would make a Happy Meal cry if you were around.

Funny Insults

37. There’s something stupid about you, but it’s working.
38. The truth will set you free. You’re under the wrath. OK, you’re free to leave.
39. What do you think about the fact that your parents are living proof that two wrongs don’t make a right?
40. It’s taking me a moment to come up with an insult that you can understand!
41. Since I still have my brain, I know our son got him from you.
42. I’ve heard a smart statement come out in a fart.
43. Looking at you, I wonder. Two billion years of evolution?
44. I told my therapist about you. She didn’t believe me.
45. Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s a job for your parents.
46. When I listen to you, I think you’re going to do well far. I hope you stay there.
47. When I see you coming, I get irritated beforehand. To give myself a head start, I figure it’s a good idea.
48. It was bad advice if someone told you to be yourself.
49. The only thing you need is a chair. And a high-five.
50. We were happily married for one month. It’s been 10 years since we got married.
51. I often wonder where you have been all my life when I see you. And can you go back there?
52. Light travels faster than sound. Then I heard you speak, which explains why you seemed smart.
53. Your secrets are always safe with me. When you share them with me, I don’t even listen.
54. You must have been on God’s “to-do” list when he made you.
55. Everyone brings happiness to a room. I create happiness when I walk in, and you bring happiness when you leave.
56. Sweetheart, the only thing that bothers me is that thing between your ears.
57. Your face is fine, but you really should put a bag on that personality.
58. You are an idiot, but I wouldn’t insult you by calling you one.
59. Do you have no more words to say, or did your vocabulary run out?
60. There’s no denying accidents happen.
61. When you leave the room, everyone is filled with joy.
62. You’re not a drama queen. You’re the whole royal family.
63. You’re like gray sprinkles on a rainbow cupcake.
64. This country must put directions on shampoo bottles because of you.
65. Can you tell me how many licks it will take for me to get to the interesting part of this conversation?
66. When you start talking, I stop listening.
67. I’m listening. Putting so much stupid information into my head at once takes a minute.
68. You are like a software update. You always make me think “Not now.”
69. It’s normal for the first 40 years of childhood to be the most challenging.
70. It’s impossible to underestimate you.
71. I like your hair comb. The horns are well hidden, which is impressive.
72. Will you chase a stick if I throw it? This conversation really doesn’t interest me.
73. You’re the reason gene pools need lifeguards.
74. No problem, that’s fine with me. Your incorrect opinion is certainly your right.
75. You are as disappointing as an unsalted pretzel.
76. The thought of spending my entire life without you excites me.
77. Your brain won’t be found by rolling your eyes.

Savage Roasts

78. Your appearance reminds me of something that came out of a slow cooker.
79. I thought about you today. As I took out the trash, I was reminded.
80. It looks like your tongue is in prison because your teeth are so gapped.
81. As soon as I saw your life, I thought of making a joke about it.
82. Oops, my bad. The person I dealt with seemed to be an adult to me.
83. Using glue sticks instead of chapstick would be wonderful.
84. Raising children’s rights is the parents’ responsibility. You can tell just by looking at them that they quit after one day.
85. I believe you can achieve anything. Look around; there are plenty of dumb people out there to aspire to be.
86. I bet I could remove 90 percent of your gorgeous looks with a moist towelette.
87. You’re like an athlete’s foot in human form annoying and challenging to eradicate.
88. Being so close to your dreams of complete and utter mediocrity must be fun every morning.
89. Barbie might be jealous of you because you’re so fake.
90. We didn’t have the heart to tell you that the test was actually an IQ test, because you were so happy to test negative for COVID.
91. What makes you think the next 25 attempts will be successful if I didn’t answer the first time?
92. I am jealous of people who have never met you.
93. Oh, you’re talking to me? My understanding was that you only did that behind my back.
94. Most mistakes can be corrected. There is an exception to every rule, and you are one of them.
95. Your attempt to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence is hilarious.
96. I suggest you soul-search. You might actually find one.
97. It was the worst decision I’ve ever made to hang out with you.
98. Roasting trash is an environmental hazard, so we weren’t going to roast you.
99. I don’t want to hurt you. but I can’t help it.
100. Sorry to upset your inflated self-esteem with my brutal honesty.
101. It would be easy for me to hurt myself by jumping from my ego to my IQ if I wanted to.
102. Do yourself a favor and ignore anyone who tells you to be yourself. It’s a terrible idea in your case.
103. Despite the fact that I don’t hate you, I would give you a high five if you were drowning.
104. The purpose of your life is to donate your organs.
105. People are more likely to believe that you’re stupid if you keep your mouth shut rather than removing all doubt by opening it.
106. Did you know your incubator had tinted windows? Your parents would only take you home if you did it.
107. The next time someone tells you you’re beautiful, don’t believe them.
108. It doesn’t matter what you look like. You can be anything you want.
109. You’re the reason God created amnesia.
110. My phone would be infected with a virus if I took a photo of you.
111. A glowstick has a brighter future than you. Lasts longer, too.
112. Climbing up your own ego can always help you find higher ground.
113. You are the human version of cramps.
114. Have you ever tried not to be an idiot?
115. You’re like a cloud. Suddenly, the world becomes a beautiful place when you disappear.
116. It might be a good idea to eat make-up in order to improve your ugly personality.
117. You might just be able to cure the world’s deadliest diseases with your face if laughter is the best medicine.

Good Roasts That Rhyme

118. The dog in me would lift his leg up and shower the flower.
119. You’ll see what I mean by looking in the mirror. Roses are red, monsters are green.
120. Please forgive me if I laugh at your face or make a mistake.
121. Because you saw a fake cupid, you thought you could fall in love.
122. Despite my best efforts, you can’t even count higher than two.
123. There are red roses, blue violets, and so many pretty people, but what happened to you?
124. You’re just a minion, and I’m pretty cool, so it’s not my fault.
125. There’s something wrong with your breath. No offense intended, but Listerine is what you need.
126. Frankenstein was ugly too, so don’t feel bad about it!