Top 70+ Funny Dark Jokes

Top 70+ Funny Dark Jokes

Life can be hard sometimes. Thus, humor has the power to go a long way, even if it means digging into the darkest, deepest recesses of our minds Dark Jokes. A list of inappropriate and dirty jokes dripping in shock value has been compiled for those who enjoy a little dark humor. There are some that seem to have been concocted on the spot by George Costanza and Larry David. They’re basically the antihero of Dark jokes.

If you want to laugh darkly, it’s important to know your friends and how to read the room. There is a good chance that these aren’t the dark Dokess you tell your coworkers and in-laws. The demented family or friends you have may be on your side. We recommend taking risks when expressing Dark jokes humor (except at work). You may find your tribe.

You’ll laugh so hard when you hear these funny dark jokes. Sorry, not sorry (but really sorry). It’s not just you who’s searching for them. Nearly 110,000 searches per month are conducted for dark jokes, according to the latest search data available to us. Ultimately, we wish to bring some levity to moments of Dark jokes. The following are our favorite tunes for getting through the day. The following jokes are not suitable for children. Unlike sick and twisted individuals like us, kids are much too innocent for such things.

1. We lost track of my friend’s blood type and he died.

In the days leading up to his death, he insisted that we “be positive,” but it’s hard to do without him.

2. My waiter explained how they prepare chicken when I ordered food at a restaurant.

“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”

3. I was teased by my elderly relatives at weddings, saying, “You’ll be next! ”

Taking them to funerals stopped them from doing the same to me.

4. The fourth point. Do my dad and Nemo have anything in common?

They both can’t be found.

5. Tombstone engraving:

I TOLD you I was sick.

6. It’s imperative to have a well-rounded vocabulary. Anecdotes and antidotes are different words, and I would have known the difference if one of my best friends hadn’t died.

7. The seventh point. Having no sense of direction makes my husband mad.

Taking my stuff with me, I left.

8. Upon hitting the windshield of a car going 70 mph, what is the last thing that goes through a fly’s head?

It’s but.

9. A match will keep a man warm for an hour or two.

Putting him on fire will keep him warm forever.

10. “Siri, why am I still single?”

Siri activates the front camera.

11. We lost track of my friend’s blood type and he died.

In the days leading up to his death, he insisted that we “be positive,” but it’s hard to do without him.

12. CEOs of pretzel companies tend to be the most corrupt.

They’re always twisted.

13. You’re not completely useless.

The worst example you can give is always yourself.

14. There was a time when I threw a boomerang.

I now live in constant fear.

15. Which pirate letter is a pirate’s favorite?

It doesn’t exist. Historically, most pirates were illiterate, historians have suggested.

16. Why did the mailman die?

Because everybody dies.

17. How do hipsters and hockey players differ?

Hockey players shower.

18. “Please accept my apologies” is the same as “I’m sorry”.

Except at a funeral.

19. Inquiry: “What are you going to do with me, doctor? ”

Doctor: “To the morgue.” Patient: “What? But I’m not dead yet!” Doctor: “And we’re not there yet.”

20. I don’t have a carbon footprint.

I drive everywhere.

21. Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?

Because they taste funny.

22. What do you call a cheap circumcision?

A rip-off.

23. A parachute is not necessary for skydiving.

The second time you skydive, you’ll need a parachute.

24. Say NO to drugs!

I’ve probably already said yes to my drugs if I’m talking about them.

25. The boss of my company once told me that I was the worst train driver he had ever seen. How many have you derailed this year?”

I said, “I’m not sure; it’s difficult to keep track of.”

26. Seeing as how my girlfriend’s dog had passed away, I bought her an identical one in an attempt to cheer her up. It just made her more upset.

I screamed at her, giving her no choice but to say, “What am I going to do with two dead dogs? ”

27. Why are friends like snow?

If you pee on them, they disappear.

28. We decided not to have children after making a difficult decision.

I will be able to deliver them tomorrow if anyone has your contact information.

29. There was a death in my grief counseling group the other day.

It didn’t matter to me because he was so good.

30. The cemetery is overcrowded.

People want to get in.

31. There are three. Can you tell me what the dinosaur-killing asteroid said?

“T. Rex, I’m coming for a hug!”

32. What rhymes with “boo” and stinks?


33. It’s both good and bad news from the doctor.

It looks like you have only two days to live, according to your test results.” Patient: “That’s the good news?” Doctor: “Your test results indicate you have only two days to live. What’s the bad news?” he asked. Doctor: “I haven’t been able to contact you for two days.”

34. As a result of my technological dependence, my grandfather says that I am too dependent on it.

It was my duty to unplug his life support after calling him a hypocrite.

35. Skeletons don’t trick-or-treat, so why don’t they?

There is no one to accompany them.

36. The Hunchback of Notre Dame is one of my favorite films.

My favorite protagonists have twisted backstories.

37. I hope Death is a woman.

I will never have to worry about it looking at me twice.

38. A friend of mine invited me to his new house. Welcome to the house, he said.

So I threw him out. I hate visitors.

39. I was told by my boss to have a nice day.

So I returned home.

40. In the well, the old man fell down for no apparent reason.

Because he couldn’t see that well.

41. I injured my knee in 1980 after falling off my bike.

The ’80s didn’t have social media, so I’m telling you now.

42. What did Kermit the Frog say at his puppeteer’s funeral?


43. I was playing chess with my friend and he said, “Let’s make this interesting.”

So we stopped playing Chess.

44. Why do vampires seem sick?

They’re always in coffins.

45. I passed my wife a glue stick instead of lipstick the other day.

She still isn’t talking to me.

46. Having a fear of the dark was something we all experienced as children.

Growing up, though, we were afraid of the light because of the electricity bill!

47. There’s no point in skydiving if you don’t succeed the first time.

Steven Wright

48. In the moments before he passed away, my Granddad said the last words to me that I will never forget.

“Are you still holding the ladder?”

49. Humans eat more bananas than monkeys, according to a major new study.

It’s true. Monkeys haven’t been on my menu for a long time.

50. How would you react if a clown gang attacked you?

Look for a juggler.

51. The woman saw me tripping in the grocery store.

I turned to her and said, “Sorry, it’s been a while since I possessed a body.”

52. Man: “I work with animals.”

Woman: “That’s so sweet.” Animal-loving men are my favorite. Where do you work?” The man replies, “In the butcher shop across the street.”

53. What’s yellow and can’t swim?

A dead goldfish.

54. What’s the difference between jelly and jam?

The clown cannot fit into a car that is too small.

55. Having been caught masturbating to an optical illusion, what did the husband say to the wife?

“Hon, it’s not what it looks like!”

56. What makes me hate The Lion King song, “I Just Want to Be King ”?

If you think about it, it could be called “I Just Can’t Wait for My Dad to Be Killed in a Stampede.”

57. What was the reason behind Mozart’s chicken slaughter?

When he asked them who the most talented composer was, they all replied, “Bach, Bach, Bach.”

58. It is possible to smile even when you deal with people who are not proficient at anything.

As an example, when you are pushing them down the stairs.

59. An immortal dog was the subject of an excellent book I read the other day.

It was impossible to put down.

60. Keeping the doctor at bay is as simple as eating an apple every day….

You can throw it hard enough to make it fly, at least.

61. I have a fish that breaks!

Nevertheless, only for a short period of time.

62. My childhood home was on my list of places to visit today. My nostalgia caused me to ask the residents inside, but they refused and slammed the door.

are the wrath of My parents.

63. Why was the leper hockey game canceled?

There was a face-off in the corner.

64. The saying goes that there is a murderer in every group of friends.

Before he could harm anyone, I killed Dave.

65. Never break someone’s heart. They only have one.

Break their bones instead. They have 206 of them.

66. If I don’t get off the computer by now, my wife threatens to smash my head against the keyboard.

The situation doesn’t seem too serious – it seems that she’s jokindkdkslalkdlkfjslfjslkfjuahehwhgwdklaljdf

67. His favorite beer mug was buried with my Uncle Frank’s remains when he died.

As Frank in Stein, that was his last wish.

68. It doesn’t seem romantic or cute to me when I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree.

The number of people who bring knives on dates is strange to me.

69. The patient asks the doctor, “Ten what, Doc?” as the doctor walks into the room with the dying patient. Hours? Days? Weeks?”

He looks at the doctor calmly and replies, “Nine.”

70. My memories of lost loved ones grow more vivid as I get older.

It may not have been the best decision for me to pursue a career as a tour guide.

71. A man wakes from a coma.

Angry, he asks his wife to take off her black clothing, “I can’t depend on you in anything, can I? ”

72. In response to the leather chair, what did the cow say?

“Hi, Mom!”

73. Coal and dinosaurs have a lot in common, but what do they have in common?

Sixty million years.

74. Dark Matter was the subject of a joke, right?

We will one day be swallowed up by it.

75. You shouldn’t throw a pillow fight with Death.

Unless you’re prepared for reaper cushions.

76. Why did the man miss the funeral?

He wasn’t a morning person.

77. A woman asked me at the park where I was watching my daughter, “Which one is yours? ”

In a playful tone, I told her, “I’m still deciding.” She looked horrified.

78. The woman saw me tripping in the grocery store.

I turned to her and said, “Sorry, it’s been a while since I possessed a body.”

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